About Us

Hi, I’m Damien. I’m going to write in the first person because, well, I’m the one writing this! It can feel weird to tell you about me as if someone else is writing it…

Anyway, I’m the founder and current director of this work of Evolutionary Relating.

My vision is big. So big it often daunts me and I want to curl up into a ball and hide under the bedcovers forever.

Inadequacy is a companion that I dance with as I increasingly step forward with resolve in my unrelenting dreams for a more beautiful world. Nevertheless here I am. 

Evolutionary Relating is the work I have been practising, understanding and developing for more than ten years.

I stand on the backs of giants, having learnt authentic relating through some of the originals in the field, such as Bryan Bayer and Decker Cunov. Later, I explored many of the different schools teaching these ways of being.

In addition, I have drawn from Non-violent communication, permaculture, psychology and attachment theory, trauma studies and much more to weave together a picture, a vision of the future that I first glimpsed when I was 18 and visiting the small village life in the mountains of the Pyrenees in France. 

I strongly believe that the future that many of us long for, the siren song of evolution that draws us forward, is rooted in community structures once again becoming of prime importance in human living. Yet we can’t, unfortunately, just go throwing ourselves into these communities without knowing what the hell we are doing!

Often the biggest breakdown, and source of pain, in most people’s lives is relationships. Whether it’s in romance, in family, in work, in friendships… relationships rule. 

Having seen this glimpse of this incredibly beautiful future I have felt the pull all my adult life wondering how do we get there? 

I realised that without good relationships, we don’t stand a chance. And without the skills to understand and navigate relating and the formation of relationships… it’s just not possible. 

So here we are. Evolutionary Relating. The art of relating that leads to so much possibility, so much potential, so much joy and beauty and love. 

I could rant on and on about all of this, but if you want to know more about these musings, you can check out all the different writings, videos and offerings available here. 

Yet for now, let’s leave it here. 

Welcome.

Humans are not solitary creatures. We are in relationship, always. With family, friends, work colleagues, romantic partners, dates or lovers. Do you ever ask stop and ask yourself, “What is the quality of these relationships in my life?” — Damien Bohler