What Does A Dominant, Integrated Man Look Like?
When imagining this man we tend to love the pics of men holding expensive whiskey, with fancy watches, and well-tailored clothes. Men who drive elegant cars, with chiselled jawlines and the perfect 5 o’clock shadow.
Yet these symbols are representative of a certain stage development or class of man that is likely going to be missing aspects of integrated consciousness.
The man above is Ayn Rand’s version of the dominant man, a man who has excelled at orange level (if you are spiral dynamics informed), or in another way – who has excelled at playing the capitalist game, the game of industry.
Yet this isn’t integral level of consciousness, for most women engaged in this fantasy of wanting the incredible dominant man, this man would be a regression. He would be less developed than you.
An integral man has moved through his polarity flip, he has done his time exploring the feminine, he is in touch with his feelings, his softness, his flow, his emotionality, his vulnerability… he has become fluent in this language and has now stepped back into the masculine with that fluency. He can speak feminine yet is not of the feminine.
So how would such a dominant man, that has transcended (and included) the capitalist narrative, and his feminine, look like?
He would wield business as a tool to further some larger agenda that is, multi-generational, well beyond simply his own material gratification – and also in service of bettering humanity.
His desire and drive is to create a better world for everyone, otherwise he is still run by early shadows and the need to prove his worth.
The integrated man has no need to prove worth anymore, he is too busy creating value.
Money isn’t a concern for him anymore, money is easy to make yet there is no addiction to, or preoccupation with, the trappings of money.
Items of selection that he uses in his life will be of quality, yet this is definitely not a man that spends inordinate amounts of his free time shopping and grooming – those are the roles of the feminine.
We are talking about a masculine man, right.
This kind of man… you might not even recognise, unless he wants you to see him.
He would be the ultimate chameleon… free of the rigid and fixed attachment to identity, able to enter and succeed with charm and wit in any context, in any social environment.
Able to charm your mother, win over your best friends, dominate in a business meeting, play easily with children, hold strong intellectual discussion on a wide variety of topics, let loose at a party…
He is free. Free of social conditioning, free of self-judgment and insecurity.
Free of the need to impress you, free of the urge to receive your validation for his worth.
He creates himself moment-by-moment in whatever way he sees fit as having the most leverage for the outcome he is committed to.
In short, he will look however the fuck he wants to look. And it will change as, and when, it needs to.
He is a man committed to something larger than himself, and also able to love fiercely, devotedly. He will see deeply into you in ways you may not have ever experienced, he will touch the depths of your soul…and leave you better for it.
You may not even know what he is up to, unless you have the eyes to see. He plays a chess game with reality, seeing hundreds of moves into the future.
What he is creating now is only one step in a much more complex unfolding pattern.
He is untamed. Free. Wild.
Sophisticated. Sharp. Playful.
And he is an ever-evolving phenomenon.
Who you thought he was then, is not who he is now, and won’t be who is tomorrow.
He adapts faster than you can possibly imagine.
Don’t bother trying to pin him down thinking you can ever really know who he is.
Meet him as a dynamic, transformative phenomenon… however… and together the possibility and potential of creation is endless.